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15 Ways To Not Let People Get To You

    how to not let people get to you

    It is human nature to get affected by what other people say or do.

    We are, after all, social animals. We take other people’s behavior, actions, opinions, and feelings seriously, even without realizing it.

    And we let that affect the way we think, feel, and behave.

    When it comes to positive things, getting affected by other people is totally fine.

    In fact, I would say that we need to encourage more of that. But when it comes to negative things, that should be a strict no-no.

    Why should someone else have power over you in a way that can degrade your quality of life? Why should someone else’s words or actions cause emotional turmoil to you?

    As the great Dalai Lama once said, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

    To that end, let’s take a look at some of the most effective ways of preventing people from getting to you.

    1) Work On Yourself

    One of the main reasons why others are able to get to you is because of your own insecurities.

    If you think that there is something wrong with you in terms of looks, capabilities, knowledge, or anything else, it will be easier for others to hurt you emotionally.

    Therefore, you need to weed out these insecurities.

    Granted, this is a long process, but it is totally worth it. Not only because it stops other people from having power over you, but also because it helps you become a better individual.

    the less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life will become.

    2) Remove Yourself

    Sometimes, it becomes important to remove yourself from a situation, relationship, or even just a conversation.

    Let’s say you are having a chat with a co-worker, and they are trying to get under your skin.

    Now, instead of letting them do that or confronting them, you could choose to remove yourself from that conversation.

    You can also do this with any relationship that is having a negative impact on your emotional health. It could be a friend, a distant relative, a client, a coworker, and so on.

    3) Don’t Take It Personally

    This is something that most people need to understand.

    Negative people behave badly with almost everyone.

    So, if someone constantly criticizes you, it could be that they have a habit of doing so with everyone else as well.

    You just need to observe the way they behave with others, and this will become evident to you. Therefore, don’t take other people’s rude behavior or negative comments personally.

    It doesn’t say anything about you but it does say a lot about them.

    4) Show Kindness

    a helping hand

    Kindness is the noblest weapon.

    It can diffuse a situation like nothing else. I understand that when someone is trying to hurt you emotionally, you might be tempted to react the same way.

    But remember, why stoop to a lower level. Why not be the better person and act accordingly. And how do you do that?

    Well, you should show kindness to the other person. I know this seems like a ridiculous suggestion, but trust me, it will not only keep you in a positive state of mind but will also take away the other person’s power over you.

    5) Set Boundaries

    Most of the time, you might let people into your sphere without considering their intentions.

    So, you might tolerate their ill behavior or judgments disguised as jokes, hoping that a better relationship could be built with them. But they end up taking advantage of you and keep hurting you emotionally.

    Therefore, it’s a good idea to set boundaries from the very beginning.

    You can speak up if you don’t like something they said, you can deny their selfish requests, and even avoid entertaining them if you don’t feel like it.

    The one that angers you controls you. Don't give anyone that power.

    6) Live According To Your Values

    When you’re clear about your values and live accordingly, you will naturally care less about what others have to say about you.

    Even if they make a negative comment, you wouldn’t feel the need to react to them.

    You will know in your heart that you don’t owe anybody anything.

    If your vision is clear, and your values are strong, that’s all you need to ward off any negativity.

    7) Forgive And Move On

    woman moving on

    When someone hurts you, it is easy to hold a grudge against them.

    Even if months pass by, you will remember exactly what they said or did. This will not only make you bitter, but it will also make you wish for an opportunity to take revenge.

    Who do you think wins in this situation? It’s the other person that wins.

    That’s because they live rent-free in your head all the time!

    Think about it. Holding on to a grudge does nothing to them, but it definitely takes away your peace. So, a better thing to do would be to forgive them and move on with your life.

    8) Open Up To Your Family & Friends

    friends helping each other

    Sometimes, your family and friends provide you with better therapy than even professional therapists.

    We have all experienced this, haven’t we?

    So, if a particular person or a handful of people are getting to you, I think you should open up about this with your loved ones.

    Talk to them about how those people make you feel and what you can do to deal with them.

    You would be surprised by the collective wisdom that you’ll get from your loved ones. Even if they can’t provide you with a solution, you will feel much better just by talking to them.

    No one can hurt you without your permission.

    9) See If You’re Enabling Their Behavior

    This might be hard for you to hear, but you could be enabling the other person’s behavior.

    For example, if your friend borrows money from you and never returns it, you would be at fault if you lend more money to them. You would be enabling that behavior again.

    Similarly, if your spouse cheats on you, and you allow them to come back anyway wiuthout making sure things can be fixed between you two, you shouldn’t be surprised if they repeat the act.

    So, you should also examine whether you are the reason others keep trying to get to you!

    10) Instill Spiritual Practices In Your Life

    Have you ever seen how calm and composed a spiritual guru is? Forget that… have you ever seen a regular person who engages in spiritual practices every day?

    If you haven’t, you should find one and talk to them! You will immediately realize how transformational spiritual practices can be for a human being. They can change you from the inside out in such a way that the external world simply won’t touch you.

    Practices like yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork, have all been proven to be immensely beneficial for our mental health. So, it’s a no-brainer to make them a part of your life.

    Don't let the opinions of others consume you.

    11) Don’t Try To Prove People Wrong

    A lesson that we’ve all probably learned is that people rarely understand each other’s points of view nowadays.

    This is especially true of negative people who have concretized belief systems. So, if someone is trying to hurt you (consciously or otherwise), do not try to prove that they are wrong.

    Do not try to prove that you are much better than they give you credit for. You will be wasting your time and energy. The temptation will be there, but don’t do it!

    12) Stop Replaying Conversations In Your Mind

    woman alone

    This is something that we all do to a certain extent. Whether it is a positive memory or a negative one, we have a tendency to keep repeating it in our heads.

    For some reason, we do this more for negative memories or events.

    When someone says something nasty to you at work, I’m sure you will keep thinking about it till the time you go to bed at night. Even a little sentence can take a huge scary form in our heads.

    Do yourself a favor and stop doing this. Stop replaying negative interactions in your head. You will only be enhancing the other person’s power over you.

    Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.

    13) Get Busy With Your Life

    Sometimes I think that busy people are the best people. If you have observed a busy person, you will know that they are utterly dedicated to their life and work.

    From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, they are focused on what they have to do.

    Obviously, when you are that focused, you don’t have time to think about other people’s nonsense. Even if someone tries to be nasty with them, they just brush them aside and move on with their lives! So, staying busy works really well in this regard.

    14) Seek Professional Help

    Sometimes, you need to ask why it’s possible for others to emotionally overpower you.

    Is it because of your insecurities like we talked about in the first point? Or could there be deeper emotional wounds that you are not even aware of?

    If it’s the latter, you might need professional help. Not only to stop people from getting to you but to stop these emotional wounds from impacting other areas of your life.

    Your health, relationships, career, and finance, can all stand to suffer if you have unattended issues deep within. So, it’s best to see a therapist who can help you heal holistically.

    if someone treats you like crap for no reason, remember there is probably something wrong with them, not you.

    15) Ignore Them

    Last but certainly not least is ignoring those who get on your nerves. You could choose to completely cut these people from your life. It will be a net positive as far as your relationships are concerned.

    And if it is not possible to completely ignore them (in cases where you have to work with them), you can certainly decrease your interaction to a bare minimum. And there is no need to feel sorry for this choice. You have the right to a peaceful state of mind.

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