Every relationship has its ups and downs.
It is not always rainbows and unicorns that we all expect and hope for.
Relationships are both beautiful and messy.
And largely, it depends on the two people involved how they maintain their relationship.
If they are willing, they can make it the most fulfilling thing in their lives.
But even then, there will be times when you fight, there will be times when you can’t stand each other, and there might even be times when you are mean to your boyfriend.
It’s natural for a person to become frustrated due to work pressures, responsibilities, unfulfilled needs, and so on.
And in this state of frustration, you might say mean things to your boyfriend.
However, you need to keep in mind that being mean can really hurt your boyfriend.
And it can also erode the love between you two over time.
So, it’s important to know exactly why you are mean to him.
Knowing the reasons can then pave the way for you to be and act better.
With that in mind, let’s look at some of these reasons.
1) You Feel Like He’s Going To Leave You
Doubt can be a devastating thing in a relationship.
Just a small seed of a doubt is enough to separate two people.
At first, it starts out as just a simple thought.
But then, it constantly becomes bigger and bigger in your mind until it starts to seem real.
This is prone to happen in a romantic relationship where things are so delicately balanced.
So, it’s obvious that if you feel like your boyfriend is going to leave you (when that’s not actually the case), it can send you off on a negative trajectory.
You might start being mean to him because you think that he’s not honoring your love.
Of course, this is not how you should handle this.
What you need to do is remind yourself of the love you two share with each other.
And tell yourself that you need to trust him with all your heart. Or at least to talk to him openly about your fears.
Remember, positivity breeds positivity.
2) You Are Experiencing Stress And Anxiety
Stress and anxiety seem to have become a part of human life these days.
Everyone seems to be stressed about one thing or the other.
The problem is that stress can make you behave very irrationally.
It can make you highly emotional and prone to lashing out.
So, when your boyfriend does something that you don’t like (even if it is a trivial thing), you might snap at him.
All your stress gets channeled onto him.
If this is what’s happening to you, then it’s time to bring some changes.
Instead of lashing out at him, tell him how you feel.
Ask him for his support and help. And thank him for always being there.
Then, deal with what’s stressing you out.
If that’s not immediately possible, then do things to relax. Take frequent naps, meditate, exercise, or do anything else that makes you feel better.
3) Your Self-Esteem Might Be Low
Sometimes, when people don’t feel good about themselves, they project it outward through negative behavior.
In a way, they are compensating for how terrible they feel on the inside.
A big example of this is a lack of self-esteem or confidence.
When you don’t feel confident, you feel inadequate.
You might even start comparing yourself to your boyfriend in terms of career, finances, health, and other aspects of life.
This can be a tricky problem to fix.
It requires to introspect and understand why you are feeling the way you are.
Maybe a past event is resurfacing and making you feel inferior in some way.
Or maybe it’s something that someone said at work.
Whatever it is, talk to your boyfriend about it and ask for his support.
Again, communication is key.
4) You Might Be In Need of Some Space
Sometimes, you just need your personal space.
You just need some time to yourself where nobody else is even around.
This is not a bad thing at all.
In fact, it’s natural for all human beings.
This “me time” is actually very important for your mental health.
So, if you haven’t been receiving space in your relationship lately, it can cause you to be mean to your partner.
But that’s not the way to address this issue.
Again, just talk it out with your boyfriend.
And make sure you say things as gently as possible.
You don’t want to make him feel like you are planning to leave him.
Just make sure he understands that this is something you need for your own happiness.
Heck, you might even encourage him to take his own space for a while.
Then, you can come back stronger than ever.
5) The Relationship Might Not Be Working
When you are constantly frustrated by your boyfriend and, you are getting into fights a lot, it might be because the relationship isn’t working.
This seems even more likely if there are no other reasons that could explain why things have been so negative lately.
If this is the case, then you might be being mean to him to push him away.
Unfortunately, there is only one thing you can do to solve this problem.
If you have decided that he isn’t the one for you, you need to break things up.
It will keep you from being mean to a person unnecessarily, and both of you can look for happiness elsewhere.
6) You’re Scared of Opening Up
A romantic relationship is one where you can completely open up to the other person and be absolutely vulnerable in front of them.
In fact, this is what needs to be done if you want to establish a strong foundation for your relationship.
But something might be keeping you from doing that.
Maybe it’s because of past trauma, or maybe it’s difficult for you as a person.
So, whenever you are in a situation where you have to open up, you might feel uncomfortable.
This can cause you to lash out at your boyfriend, especially if he keeps pushing you to be emotionally close to him.
Unfortunately for you, there is only one way out of this.
You have to let your guard down and show emotional vulnerability. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in a relationship anyway!
7) You Feel Like He Is Taking You For Granted
This is quite common in relationships.
You might feel like you are being taken for granted when your boyfriend doesn’t seem to appreciate you as much.
Or maybe you feel like he isn’t putting in the effort that he should. ( maybe he forgot your birthday… )
This can cause you to become salty (rightly so).
Gradually, you start getting into arguments over the tiniest of things.
Subconsciously, you do this to get his attention.
But it only makes matters worse.
A better way to handle this is to tell him how you feel.
Let him know that you feel unappreciated in the relationship.
Let him know that he is taking you for granted.
If he really loves you, he will clean up his act in no time at all.
Sometimes, a gentle reminder goes a long way in getting someone to behave properly.
8) There Is An Elephant In The Room
When two people are in a relationship, there can be an infinite number of arguments or disagreements.
Usually, when it’s about trivial things, we let go of them.
But if it’s something that we really care about, it can keep nagging in the back of our minds.
This happens to lots of couples.
And it results in them being mean to each other.
Fortunately, though, there is no argument that cannot be solved by communication.
If there is an elephant in the room, address it.
Try to come to a middle ground.
Compromise if you have to.
Just finish it off so that you can both move on from it.
The more time you spend leaving things unaddressed, the bigger they get.
Obviously, this is not good for anybody.
9) You Crave Some Quality Time With Him
These days, everyone is so busy with work that they don’t get enough time for their loved ones.
Most people share this complaint.
Gradually, not spending quality time with your loved one can start to weigh on you.
Your mind might even make up all sorts of negative scenarios (maybe he doesn’t want to be with me, maybe he doesn’t like me anymore, maybe he’s cheating on me, etc.)
This can make matters worse and cause you to be mean to your boyfriend.
Thankfully, this problem can be easily solved.
All you need to do is consciously carve out time in your calenders that is strictly dedicated to each other.
You could go out on date nights, go for a quick weekend trip, take a vacation, watch movies together, play indoor games, and so on.
I am sure when you tell your boyfriend how much you miss him, he will do anything he can to spend more time with you. 🙂