If you are reading this, it’s likely that you have just gone through a breakup or watched a friend go through it.
You might be wondering whether it is still possible to salvage things and recover from the painful experience.
We have all been there, haven’t we?
Breaking up with a romantic partner is always messy. That’s because there is a deep intimacy involved which brings two people closer than anybody else.
So, when there’s a breakup, it’s not just the separation of two bodies but two souls.
How can it not be painful? How can it not hurt? We all know by experience the emotional turmoil a breakup brings about.
But do you know what?
No matter what the world says, you should try your best to make the relationship work after the breakup.
After all, if it is worth it, that person means the world to you, right? How can you not even give it a try? If you listen to your heart, it will tell you the same thing.
Yes, a relationship can work after a breakup. It has for millions of people, and it can work for you too. You just need to do the right things, and who knows, your loved one might be back with you in no time at all!
And the journey you once thought over might flourish into an even more beautiful thing.
In fact, many people have experienced that a breakup actually saves their relationship!
So, without further ado, let’s take a look at all the things you can do to make your relationship work after a breakup.
1) Identify The Problems
If you broke up, there must have been a reason.
Maybe there were many reasons!
Look, nobody is perfect, and it is totally okay to have issues with your partner. Heck, they may have problems with you too! This doesn’t affect your relationship per se.
What makes things turn sideways is not talking to your partner about these problems and silently trying to live through them.
Therefore, to make a relationship work again, you need to first identify the problems that led to the breakup in the first place.
Create a safe space for both of you and pour your heart out. Be utterly honest and let them know everything that has bothered you.
But be careful to do so in a non-confrontational way. Remember, you are trying to make things right.
2) Find Solutions Together
After you have talked about the problems, it is time to find the solutions.
This might take some time.
So, both of you need to be patient with each other. For some of the problems, there might not be an immediate answer. In cases like these, there needs to be an understanding that you will eventually work things out.
Also, remember that problems will keep arising. And solving them is a constant process.
Therefore, you need to live with an attitude that the journey is more important than the destination.
It’s their presence that matters most. Enjoy the time together and always focus on solutions rather than problems.
3) Forgive/Ask For Forgiveness
A lot of the time, this is the single biggest thing missing in a relationship.
When one person makes a mistake, and they don’t even act like they are sorry, it deeply hurts the other person.
The bigger the mistake, the bigger the hurt.
Remember, there are deep feelings involved in a romantic relationship, and you should always be mindful of this fact.
When you make a mistake, asking for forgiveness should be the natural thing to do. When the other person makes a mistake, you should have a big enough heart to forgive them.
And if you think for even a second that mistakes won’t be a part of your relationship, you are mistaken. It is okay to be romantic and to want a fairy tale type of situation.
But you also need to be highly practical.
4) Take Things Slow
When you have just broken up with someone you love, it is natural to want things to go back to how they were before.
At that moment, you just want to erase all the bad stuff that have happened and the relationship to mend itself magically.
But we all know that this is impossible.
A breakup is a major event, and it causes a lot of negative emotions to surface.
Therefore, if you’re trying to save your relationship, you need to be very patient.
Some emotional wounds can take a lot longer to heal than you can imagine. The best thing you can do is be there for each other and focus on making things better one day at a time.
Give your loved one some space, and don’t expect too much to happen too quickly. Otherwise, it may actually lead to even worse situations.
5) Prioritize Communication
Everyone pretty much agrees that communication is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship.
In fact, when couples begin to share less with each other or just connect less frequently, things usually start getting sour.
It is common for people to come to wrong conclusions when their partner starts seeming distant. Also, it is wrong to assume that your partner will magically know what you are going through and what you need from them. Mind reading is not possible yet 🙂
Therefore, it is vital that you talk often.
No matter how busy your lives are, you need to find time to connect and empty your mind and heart. You can go on a trip together which is probably one of the best things you can do to rekindle that bond.
Another thing that helps greatly towards good communication is gratitude. Just say thank you when your loved one does something nice for you. Express to them that their efforts are acknowledged and appreciated.
6) Bring The Intimacy Back
It is only natural that two people who love each other have great intimacy together.
But often, it is seen that this intimacy starts fading over time.
This can then lead to separation.
Even if you have broken up due to some other reason, bringing back that intimacy should be a priority.
Do you remember how your relationship was during the first few weeks? Everything seemed so magical, right? Even a slight physical touch seemed so intimate and exhilarating. That’s what you should aim to bring back.
Of course, this will take some time.
As I said above, a breakup is a major event, and it will take time to mend things. And intimacy is something that cannot be forced. It comes from the heart, and it is better that you let it happen that way.
In fact, if you take care of the other things on this list, intimacy will happen as a happy byproduct.
7) Don’t Take Anything For Granted
It is quite common for couples who have been together for some time to start taking each other for granted.
They don’t want to do it consciously, but it happens regardless.
I think this happens because they get so used to each other that it starts seeming normal or unremarkable.
In cases like these, it is possible that each others’ efforts are not appreciated. We all know how bad this can feel. And it is usually this that causes a rift in the relationship.
So, it only makes sense to avoid making the same mistake when you’re trying to rebuild your relationship.
Show your partner that they truly mean the world to you. Show them that every single effort they make means more to you than they can imagine. And above all, show them that their presence in your life is priceless.
8) Be Curious About Each Other
Think back to the time when your relationship was still new.
How curious were you about each other? Did you feel a strong desire in your heart to learn everything about them and to truly understand them? It was all so exciting, right?
It probably felt that each new day brought you closer to them as you learned more and more things about them.
Over time, this sense of curiosity tends to dissipate. And this can make the relationship seem boring as you feel like there is no spark left.
So, when you are trying to get back together, make sure that you somehow keep this sense of curiosity alive.
Contrary to what you may think, there are endless things that you can learn about a person. Keep digging deeper and deeper and make it a point to keep understanding them better.
Relationships are a beautiful thing.
It is such a heartwarming thing to see two people in love, staying together through thick and thin, and just living their lives.
But the irony of life is that even the strongest of relationships can break apart. Two people in love can decide to go their separate ways due to a plethora of reasons. Suffice it to say, this is a tragedy.
But things don’t have to be bleak, and a breakup doesn’t always have to be a full stop.
If the two people involved are willing, they can certainly save their relationship even after a breakup.
All that is needed is a little effort, and things can go back to normal, even if it takes a little time.
At the end of the day, if the love is pure and undying, nothing can stop them from trying to get back to each other and building a connection that lasts forever.