As humans, it is in our nature to constantly want to do more, be more, and achieve more.
We are always looking to fulfill our dreams and desires as we think that’s how we can be happy in our lives.
And since we are consistently taught about the importance of accomplishments right from childhood, we make success our biggest priority.
In some ways, this nature or attitude of ours helps us make the best of our lives.
But it also has some major downsides.
The need to constantly want more stuff makes you compare yourself to other people endlessly. Whenever someone gets something new and improved, you automatically want it too, even though you might not have a need for it.
This has especially become prominent in the modern world where we share the smallest details of our lives on social media.
We compare every aspect of our lives with countless other people and that causes jealousy and dissatisfaction.
In some people, it even gives rise to stress, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, it’s important to understand the whole concept of comparison, why we do it, how it affects our lives, and how we can stop it.
- Why Do I Compare Myself To Others?
- How Does Comparison Affect My Life?
- 1) It Takes Away Your Happiness
- 2) You Will Always Feel Inadequate
- 3) It Leads To Competition Instead of Cooperation
- 4) You Start Seeking Validation From Others
- 5) You’ll Fear Being Judged Even More
- 6) It Takes Away Your Attention From What Really Matters
- 7) Failures Hurt Much More
- 8) It Keeps You From Being Your Authentic Self
- 9) Your Life Becomes Superficial
- 10) It Keeps You From Being A Good Person
- 11) Unattainable Desires Only Hurt You
- 12) You Will Always Feel Like You’re In A Race
- 13) Your Loved Ones Will Worry About You
- 14) It Might Strain Your Relationships
- How To Stop Comparing Myself To Others?
- 1) Be Aware of Your Triggers
- 2) Try Deflecting Your Negative Thoughts
- 3) Limit Your Time On Social Media
- 4) Focus On Your Strengths
- 5) Don’t Fall Into The Trap of Guilt
- 6) Accept Your Flaws
- 7) Realize That No One Is Perfect
- 8) Realize That There Will Always Be Someone Better
- 9) Don’t Tear Others Down
- 10) Remember That Life Is About The Journey
- 11) Surround Yourself With Good People
- 12) Remind Yourself That Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness
- 13) Find Your Purpose In Life And Stay Committed To It
- 14) Do Things You Enjoy
- 15) Work On Improving Your Skills
- 16) Remember, You Are Enough!
- 17) Practice Gratitude
- 18) Celebrate Other People’s Achievements
- 19) Compare Yourself Only To Your Past Self
- 20) Turn Comparison Into Inspiration
There can be infinite reasons why you compare yourself to others.
Truly, the way your brain works is vastly different from everybody else around you.
So, some of the reasons for your habit of comparison might be unique to you and only you can decipher these reasons.
However, there are many common causes of comparison that might help you better understand your perception and attitude.
Let’s take a look at these below.
Think about what you have been taught about success from a very young age.
I am guessing, you have been conditioned to believe that success means getting a good education, landing a great job, marrying the love of your life, having kids, and amassing wealth until you grow old.
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with this definition of success.
I am merely saying that success is not a limited concept.
There are 8 billion people on the planet and each one of us can have our own concept of success.
For some, it might mean traveling the world, for some, it might mean establishing a multi-billion dollar company, and for someone else, it might mean being able to take care of their family.
However, if you have been conditioned to believe that only certain achievements mean success, it is natural for you to compare your journey with others.
For example, if you have been told that only money means success, you might keep comparing your income with other people. But if you knew in your heart that different people have different journeys, there wouldn’t be a need for comparison!
This is an obvious reason.
If you don’t feel confident in yourself or your path, other people’s lives will naturally seem superior to you.
Even though you might be blessed with a million different things, all of these will feel worthless in comparison to what other people have.
Suffice it to say, this sense of inferiority is only an illusion.
Objectively, there is no such thing as better or worse. That’s because… who can even make that distinction? Who is to say that a doctor’s path is better than a musician’s? Who is to say that having a million dollars is better than having true love?
What is worthwhile for one may be completely meaningless for someone else.
This is one of the most common reasons why people compare themselves to others.
Most people believe that they have a fixed timeframe within which they must achieve the various milestones of life.
For example, they might think that they have to complete their education, get a stable job, and get married before they reach a certain age.
Naturally, when they don’t achieve these things at the so-called “right age,” they begin to compare their lives with other people who have already checked these milestones.
This could also take a different form.
In any pursuit of one’s dreams and goals, if a person sees that others are way ahead of them, they might naturally resort to comparison.
For example, at a marketing agency, an employee might compare their sales target with others because they might fear lagging behind.
Most people generally tend to live from one day to the next.
They are so busy with their daily tasks, that they don’t even have the time to think about the long-term or the larger picture of their lives.
This, too, can cause them to compare their lives with other people.
This happens because when you start living on a day-to-day basis, smaller things begin to have much larger importance than they should.
And when that happens, you naturally start comparing what you have with what other people have.
For instance, your neighbor might get a new refrigerator and that might cause you to be jealous. Or one of your friends might buy a new car and you might compare it with your old car.
In all of these, you fail to take into account that you are on your own journey. You fail to see that you are working according to your long-term plans and that things are coming together well for you.
I think this is self-explanatory.
If you are not grateful for the things you already have, you will naturally tend to look at what other people have.
Your dissatisfaction will not let you rest until you get everything that others have around you.
If you think about it, this is one of the primary reasons for the rise of consumerism in the world today.
Even though we have so many things in our lives already, we keep wanting more because the next person has something new.
However, those that practice gratitude ( meaning focusing on the positive aspects of our life) regularly never want to compare themselves to others.
After all, gratitude brings a sense of satisfaction.
Instead of looking outwards, you start looking inwards and realize that you’re already blessed.
Most people don’t realize it but they often use comparison as a coping mechanism.
When they don’t achieve one of their goals or when they make a mistake, they like to compare themselves to people who are more skilled than them.
They point out the huge difference between their capabilities and those who managed to achieve their dreams. And this provides a so-called “explanation” for their failure.
For example, if you are not able to complete a project on time while one of your colleagues is able to do so, you might say that they are better skilled than you.
This form of comparison feels soothing and becomes an effective coping mechanism. However, it also keeps you from utilizing your full potential and doing everything in your power to achieve your goals.
No matter what aspect of your life you’re comparing with others, it usually has a negative impact on you.
Even if you’re doing it just to see how you measure up against other people, it’s not a healthy practice.
Here are some of the ways comparison affects your life.
There is a popular saying that goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I think this is the best way to put it.
Comparison is really a guaranteed way to lose your happiness in life.
And you don’t need someone else to explain this to you. If you spend even a few seconds thinking about it, you will come to the same conclusion.
When you have a habit of comparing yourself with others, you will always be busy looking at other people’s lives.
And when you do that, their achievements will constantly torment you. The more people you compare yourself to, the more reasons you will have to feel dissatisfied about your own life.
It’s a trap that you set up for your own self.
It’s tragic that so many people in the world can’t understand this simple logical fact. Even if they have a million reasons to be happy, they will still remain unhappy just because of other people’s achievements!
When you compare yourself with other people, you are essentially comparing one individual with so many out there.
How is that possibly a fair comparison?
Obviously, someone out there will be better looking than you, someone will have more money, someone will be happier, and someone will be healthier. Now, if you add all that up, you will feel like you are a total loser.
Comparison will always make you feel like you are not “good enough.”
It will always make you feel like there is something missing in your life.
Suffice it to say, it is not good for your self-esteem. It might hamper your confidence and you might start beating yourself up. Not only that, you might start judging your own self.
Obviously, this is not something you want to go through!
Think about your state of mind when you are comparing yourself with someone else.
Think about the thoughts and feelings you experience during this time. What does this state of comparison look like?
Obviously, it’s not a friendly state where you wish the best for the other person. Instead, it is a state of envy where you resent them and want what they have.
Naturally, comparison leads to competition instead of cooperation.
And that’s a huge part of what’s wrong with the world today.
If you are always trying to compete with other people, especially in cases where it is totally senseless, you are unnecessarily making your own life harder. You are doing nothing but inviting stress and anxiety into your life!
Plus you lose all opportunities to collaborate and cooperate with other people, which actually could have led to mutually beneficial situations.
If you are not content with what you have and are only ever bothered about what others have, obviously their opinion is going to matter more to you than your own opinions and beliefs.
That’s because other people’s choices and accomplishments begin to seem much better and more meaningful to you. Naturally, you put them on a much higher pedestal.
So, whenever you get something for yourself, you would seek their approval or validation… even though they might have no business in your personal life.
Somehow, your daily life would start revolving around what other people think.
This is a tragic situation, to say the least.
It distorts your perception and gives control of your life to someone else.
When you are playing the game of comparisons, your ego completely colonizes your mind.
From that point onwards, everything you do and say is to feed your ego and make it seem as though your life is perfect.
In this state of mind, a person fears other people’s judgments and opinions even more. That’s because they are not able to tolerate even one single negative remark about themselves.
After all, it hurts their ego, you know!
Can you imagine living life constantly worrying about what others think of you? Can you imagine how restrictive and suffocating that is?
It completely takes away your freedom and your own individual choices. It takes away the joy of living life on your own terms and experimenting with your life the way you see fit. And it also adds the unbearable pressure of having to do everything perfectly!
We all have our own lives to live.
We all have responsibilities to fulfill and dreams to achieve.
But do you know what takes our attention away from all these things? Yes, that’s correct… the habit of comparison. I think this is self-explanatory.
When you are busy doing comparisons, how can you possibly give time to things that really matter?
This lack of focus can have detrimental effects.
It can make you go in a completely wrong direction in life and disrupt the progress that you have already made. It can adversely affect your career, finances, health, relationships, and overall well-being.
Millions of people have learned this lesson the hard way. And you definitely don’t want to be one of them.
When you are trying to prove that you are better than other people, the worst thing that can put you down is failure. ( check our article about how to overcome failure HERE)
That would be like sprinkling salt on an open wound.
The sting of the failure is made much more painful given that it degrades your position in comparison to other people (or at least this is how your mind perceives it).
As I’ve already mentioned above, the habit of comparison adds unnecessary pressures to your life and makes it much harder than it needs to be. And this is one of the most blatant examples of that.
It’s one of our greatest blessings as humans that we are all unique in our own ways.
We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we all bring unique perspectives to the table.
And no matter what the world tells you, you have the right to be your authentic self. And you can certainly do that if you don’t fall into the trap of comparisons.
If you do fall into that trap, however, you will find it impossible to be and act your true self.
That’s because you will always want to be like someone else. You will always want to accumulate things that are meaningful to others. You will make other people’s dreams your dreams. And you will live in the illusion that doing so will make you happy.
But, in reality, the act of comparison just takes you away from your true self.
The more you compare, the further you go from your own self.
The word “superficial” is used a lot while describing the modern world.
Do you know why?
It’s because a lot of our dreams and desires lack depth and meaning.
We simply copy what other people want and pretend that we want them too.
If someone in your friends circle gets a brand new phone, you might be tempted to get one too, even though you have a perfectly fine phone already!
It’s just the age-old “monkey see, monkey do” type of behavior.
Naturally, if your life becomes superficial, you will waste all your time doing the wrong things.
Instead of using your time on this planet to build something meaningful, have beautiful experiences and leave behind a solid legacy for your children, you might spend it all on nonsense. ( though I personally do appreciate some nonsense from time to time haha)
Think about who a good person is.
I know this definition can be vast, but in general terms, we can say that a good person is one who wants the good for everyone. They want the world to have peace, joy and happiness. They want everybody to prosper and achieve their dreams and desires. They also see themselves as a part of something larger.
Are these the qualities you would expect from someone who has a habit of comparison?
Not really, right?
Comparison makes a person bitter and jealous. It makes you want to accumulate everything for yourself. It makes you wish for your success before everyone else’s.
And it makes you sad or frustrated if you see that others are ahead of you.
Needless to say, comparison is a habit that keeps you from being a good person.
This is harsh but true.
Some things in life will always be out of reach for you, no matter how hard you try.
I know we should all have faith and think that we can achieve anything we put our minds to.
However, it’s also true that certain things will always be out of reach for certain people.
For example, if you are a short person and are constantly jealous of tall people, that will solve nothing. Similarly, if you are a tall person and are jealous of shorter people, again, that’s useless.
Comparing yourself to others can give rise to unattainable desires.
And these desires only lead to disappointments.
Another very common example of this is people comparing their wealth to others.
If someone has a net worth of ten thousand dollars, they can’t compare themselves to a billionaire or hope to become one within a short period. This kind of expectation or desire only leads to letdowns.
More and more people are beginning to feel like life has become a race in the modern world.
And they are absolutely right.
It indeed feels like we are all in a giant but invisible race course, and we are all doing our best to stay ahead.
One huge reason of this is our habit of comparison.
Naturally, when everyone is comparing their lives with everyone else, that’s the definition of being in a race. Someone gets a new car, and everyone races to get one too. Someone starts earning more, and everyone else feels the pressure to do the same.
Large corporations are always trying to one-up their competitors. Governments are always trying to one-up other governments.
Comparison is the basis of all of this.
Sometimes, things can get too out of hand.
You can become so blinded in your habit of comparison that that’s all you can do.
You start comparing even the tiniest aspects of your life with other people.
And eventually, this starts affecting your behavior, attitude, values, and even well-being.
If things don’t go your way, you can even fall into depression.
If this happens to you, your loved ones will obviously worry about you. Your parents, siblings, spouse, friends, and other loved ones will need to intervene at some point to change your course.
If you tend to compare your life to other people, they can become wary of you.
If they realize that you keep tabs on their achievements, it can leave a bad taste in their mouth.
This can not only happen with colleagues and neighbors but it can also happen with your loved ones.
Imagine comparing every aspect of your life with your sibling or cousin. Wouldn’t they be upset with you? Wouldn’t this affect your relationship with them? It obviously would.
Also, people who have a habit of comparison often try to one-up other people.
For example, if a relative gets a new watch, you might want to get yourself an even better watch. This, too, can strain your relationship.
Your loved ones would feel as though you only care about comparisons instead of the bond between you and them.
There are many ways you can stop your habit of comparing yourself to others.
But you have to remember that this is an ongoing process.
After all, comparison is human nature, and the tendency to do it might keep returning.
So, you always have to be aware and intervene the moment you feel like you’re going down that negative path.
Also, not every way mentioned below might help you.
Every person is different and so you need to find what works best for you.
A lot of our behaviors are trigger-driven.
What do I mean by this?
Well, just as you withdraw your hand quickly when you touch a hot object, you tend to do certain things in response to certain stimuli.
The same is the case with comparisons.
The moment these triggers present themselves, you might start comparing your life with others.
For example, when you are with a group of people who make you feel inferior, it is natural for you to start comparing yourself with them. You might think that you earn less than them or that you’re not as good looking. The more time you spend with them, the more comparisons you will do.
So, it’s important to be aware of and understand your triggers.
You can even make a list to do this in a more systematic manner. It might need a lot of introspection but you’ll definitely get there. Once you have your list, try to avoid these triggers as much as possible. What I’m trying to say is, make it hard on yourself to indulge in the habit of comparison.
The mind can be brutal at times.
When it starts overthinking, it gets itself deep into the rabbit hole. Then, your thoughts keep piling on themselves until they become intolerable.
Such is the power of negative thoughts.
hey can completely blind you to the truth and give rise to illusions that can ruin your life.
But at the end of the day, you are still in charge.
As soon as you sense that your mind is delving into negative thoughts, you can put an end to it.
There are various techniques you can use for this purpose.
- You can come up with a mantra for yourself that you could start “chanting” as soon as your brain starts going haywire.
- You could maybe just sing your favorite song about letting go ( if you get my drift haha)
- You could also distract yourself at that moment by doing something that you enjoy.
- You could also have positive self-talk and say things like, “I am okay as it is,” “I have a perfectly good life and I am happy with it,” “Comparison will lead me nowhere.”
Doing so will put an end to thoughts of comparison before they even materialize.
And it will save you countless hours that you would otherwise waste on this bad habit.
It is human nature to compare yourself with other people.
But the advent of social media took this nature to a whole other level.
It made it possible to compare yourself with millions of people in the world at once.
Also, since people mostly share the happier aspects of their lives on social media, you might think that everyone else’s lives are perfect except yours.
This can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and discouragement.
Therefore, you should limit your time on social media.
These days there are many in-built tools in your smartphone to do that.
On top of it, you could disable notifications from your various social media apps while you’re working or doing something important.
You could also try to delete some apps if you have too many.
Another thing you can do is unfollow the accounts with whom you tend to compare yourself the most and follow accounts that uplift you.
It’s really important that you understand this.
Each one of us has our own unique strengths and capabilities. There is no person on the planet that doesn’t have a strength.
So, when your mind starts comparing yourself to others, remind it that you are no less than them.
If others have certain abilities, you have ones of your own.
Also, remind yourself that there is no use trying to figure out who is better. This is a futile task that leads nowhere.
So, just focus on your own self and your strengths.
- Try to practice your skills to enhance them more.
- Try to learn new skills that interest you and focus on developing yourself further.
Have monthly or yearly plans and work accordingly. This focus will actually lead you to positive results. Comparison, on the other hand, will waste your time… the time which you could have invested in yourself.
When you are trying to get rid of the habit of comparison, there might be times when you fail at this task.
There might be times when you “relapse,” and get back to your old habits.
When this happens, it is important not to be hard on yourself. Otherwise, the guilt will make the process even harder.
What you need to do is be compassionate with yourself.
Know that you are trying to change a habit and that it takes time. Know that you are on the right path and this is merely a tiny setback.
Then, try to deflect your thoughts and focus your attention on something else.
Call a friend or go out with a family member. Start watching a positive motivating video on YouTube. Or go declutter one of your wardrobes. Anything that can help you 🙂
Just as we all have strengths, we all have our own flaws.
And no matter what society tells you, that’s completely okay!
The more you try to deny your flaws, the more pain it will cause you. That’s because you will try to do all sorts of things to prove that you don’t have a particular flaw.
In doing so, you would basically be living a life of lies.
Instead, accept and acknowledge your flaws.
So what if you have a particular weakness? You are human, after all. And it is none of other people’s business.
Comparing your weaknesses to other people’s weaknesses and strengths will also lead you nowhere.
What you can do is try to improve your flaws one by one.
Understand them and find ways to overcome them.
For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you could first practice speaking in front of a mirror. When that starts to feel comfortable, you could practice speaking in front of your family members. Then speak in front of a bigger group. Slowly, you can overcome this weakness.
As you can see, only when you accept your flaws can you work upon them.
Sometimes, you might come across people who appear perfect.
No matter how hard you try, you just can’t figure out any weaknesses they might have. And this might make you feel bad about yourself.
Your mind might instantly create a list of all the imperfections that you have.
But do you know what? Perfection is an illusion. There is no such thing!
No matter how perfect the other person might be, there are bound to be some challenges in their lives or some flaws they might be struggling with.
You need to realize this fact if you want to stop comparing yourself to others.
That’s because, the next time you get tempted to do some comparisons, you will know that the other person’s life is not perfect. In such a situation, you will find that it is worthless trying to compare because everyone is trying to do their best.
This is especially relevant in today’s world where social media makes us feel that everyone else’s lives are perfect.
We need to realize that people mostly post about their achievements or good aspects of their lives on social media. Hardly anyone posts about their struggles or weaknesses.
Let’s try to get to the core of why you might like to compare yourself to other people.
What could your motivation be?
Well, one thing that comes to mind is that you are trying to be better than everybody else. You are trying to satisfy your ego in trying to be number 1 in everything. As harsh as this might sound, this is quite true.
But think about it. Is it possible for you to be the best at everything in the whole world? That is literally impossible! Even the greatest of emperors in history didn’t have it all. The truth of the matter is that there will always be someone better.
- If you have a million dollars, there is someone out there who has a billion.
- If you have an expensive watch, there is someone who has an even more expensive model.
- If you are good looking, there is definitely someone who is better looking than you.
Are you getting the point?
There is absolutely no use comparing any aspect of yourself or your life with other people.
Because, at the end of the day, there will always be someone better and that’s okay!
You might have heard of the saying, “Blowing out someone’s light won’t make yours shine any brighter.”
Do you know what this means?
It simply means that you can’t rise to a higher place in life by bringing others down.
If you’re wondering how this is relevant, well, think about what’s involved in an act of comparison. The very act itself makes you tear others down so that you can feel better about yourself.
For example, you might compare your latest car with your neihbors old car to feed your ego. But in doing so, you might hurt your neighbor. It also speaks a lot about your character.
Instead of being impressed by you, other people would only think badly of you.
Please understand that everyone is on their individual journeys with their own starting points.
There are no rules as to what is good and what is bad… what is early and what is late.
All these are only in our minds.
If you take a look at your own life and the lives of other people, you will realize something really important.
You will realize that most people live lives as if they have a destination to reach.
In other words, they live as though there is someplace else they need to be.
For most, it’s their perceived vision of the future or a dream that they have.
But life was not meant to be lived like this.
Life is a journey that is meant to be enjoyed continuously while we work towards our dreams and goals. There is so much beauty around us that deserves our appreciation and acknowledgment. This is why ancient civilizations used to consider life as sacred and used to celebrate it in a multitude of ways.
This is the type of attitude you need to adopt to be happier
When you do this, you will no longer need to compare yourself with other people.
You will understand that any such comparisons are arbitrary and meaningless.
What really matters is that you are living life the way you want, enjoying the process, and working towards creating a better future.
The people in your lives with whom you spend the most time with have a huge influence on you.
Without even realizing it, you tend to adopt their values, attitudes, goals, and even their behavioral patterns.
This happens on a subconscious level and there is nothing you can do about it.
So, now that you know this, you should ask yourself what type of people you want in your life.
The type of people that support you and help you grow… or the type that promote comparisons and superficial living? The answer is as clear as day.
For your own sake, you should take a stock of the people in your lives.
See them in an unbiased way. Try to figure out which people have a positive influence on you and which people have a negative influence. Then, slowly, start distancing yourself from the negative ones.
It might feel a little weird at first, but it’s for your own good.
When the negative influence diminishes, your need to compare yourself with others will also dissipate.
This is especially aimed at comparisons relating to wealth and income.
Since this is an area of comparison for most people, it is important that we talk about it in more detail.
Look, there is no denying the fact that money is important. In fact, there is a saying that goes, “Money makes the world go round.” Without money, we wouldn’t have most things that we take for granted in our lives.
With that being said, it’s also important to understand that money doesn’t buy happiness.
Sure, it can make you happier up to a certain extent.
But it doesn’t give you ever-lasting happiness and joy. Think about those people who suffer from incurable diseases. Even if they had millions of dollars, they wouldn’t be able to help themselves!
Another example of this is true love. No amount of money in the world can buy you true love!
So, if you tend to compare your wealth and income with other people, you need to stop. You need to realize that wealth is a part of your life… not your whole life.
There are so many other things that make life beautiful. You should devote your attention on them equally. You have relationships, hobbies, nature, health, and so much more you can be grateful for……
Your life’s purpose is something that feels like your calling.
It feels like something that you were meant to do in this lifetime.
If you haven’t already found it, you need to look more thoroughly.
That’s because following your life’s purpose makes everything else seem trivial. Those who are completely focused on their purpose do not shift their attention on useless things (certainly not on comparing themselves to others).
Also, once you have found your life’s purpose, make sure you stay committed to it. Realize that you are on a sacred journey and comparing it to anything else wouldn’t be fair to you.
A person on a mission doesn’t care about what’s going on in other people’s lives. They are only concerned about doing their best and achieving the goals that they have set out to achieve.
So, how do you find your life’s purpose?
- Think about what’s important to you.
- Think about your values and principles.
- What does your vision of the future look like?
- What are your passions that you would love to pursue?
Search inward and find out what will make you the most fulfilled. In due time, you will discover your purpose. Check our article about how to find your prupose ( also known as ikigai) HERE.
There is no doubt that comparing yourself to others gives rise to a negative state of mind.
And as we all know, negativity breeds negativity.
So, as soon as you realize that you are playing the comparison game, try to take control and change the state of your mind.
In other words, do something that you love and enjoy.
This will help refocus your mind and put you in a more comfortable state.
Depending on what you like, you could read a book, talk to a friend, watch a movie, exercise, play a sport, play a musical instrument, discover a new recipe, paint, etc.
You could also indulge in self-care.
After all, when you are busy honoring and taking care of your needs, comparing yourself to others will seem like a worthless thing. At that moment, you will only be focused on nourishing your body, mind, and soul.
So, what can you do in this regard?
You could tend to your skin routine, draw up a warm bubble bath, eat a healthy snack, declutter your room, take a nap, listen to a podcast, meditate, and so on.
One reason why you might compare yourself to others is that you feel you’re somehow inadequate or lacking in some regard. We have already talked a little about this earlier.
Let me give you an example of this.
If you feel like your math skills are not good, you might compare yourself to other kids in your class who are great at math. Doing so will obviously make you feel worse about yourself.
In cases like these, if you know what you are insecure or self-conscious about, you could work upon them to improve yourself.
In the example above, you could try extra hard to improve your math skills over time. You could talk to your teacher, your parent, your siblings, take online classes, watch online videos, and so on.
With enough dedication, you are bound to become better over time.
Once your skills improve, you will no longer feel inferior to others. And so, the tendency to compare yourself to others will disappear. The same applies with any other skill or capability in any area of your life.
The world keeps telling us that we are not enough.
Society keeps telling us that we are flawed.
Marketers keep telling us that we are not up to the mark in certain areas of life.
But let me tell you this.
You are enough. Yes, no matter what anybody tells you, no matter what you tell yourself, you are enough and will always be.
You need to understand that your worth is not dictated by what you have achieved in life.
It doesn’t depend on what your dreams or goals are.
Your worth depends on your values and principles by which you live life. It depends on the way you see the world. If you are a good person at heart, nothing else should matter.
So, don’t let anybody tell you that things in your life have to be a certain way. Don’t even let your own mind tell you that.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you stop working on your goals and dreams. It doesn’t meant that you should stop working on becoming a better version of yourself.
However, it does mean that you should remain in a state of contentment. Because you are ENOUGH.
I cannot tell you how important this is.
Gratitude is an attitude that can completely transform your life for the better. It can turn even the most pessimistic mind into an optimist.
It can also nourish your heart and soul.
Let’s listen to Henry Ward Beecher who said, “Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”
When you are in a state of gratitude, you obviously don’t care what others are doing or achieving.
In such a state, you are content and happy about where you are in life and what you have in life.
Suffice it to say, gratitude brings peace and happiness into your life. In fact, it is only one of the few things that can do so!
So, practice gratitude regularly.
You can maintain a gratitude journal for this purpose.
Before you go to bed at night, make sure you list all the things, people, and situations that you are blessed to have in your life. No matter who you are, you will have a long list of things to be thankful for.
As Buddha himself said, “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.”
This is a no-brainer.
When you get into the habit of encouraging other people and celebrating their achievements, you stop caring about comparisons altogether.
While the act of comparison is a negative one that comes from the selfish self, the act of celebrating others’ success is a positive one that emerges from the selfless self.
The more you do it, the better a human being you become.
Also, when others see your selfless side, they become more open to helping you out.
It helps build strong relationships that go a long way. And at the end of the day, this is how it should be anyway. As humans, we should all lift each other up and provide whatever support we can!
If you have to compare yourself to anybody, it should be to your own past self.
In fact, this is what most high achievers do. In some of the most demanding fields like athletics, medicine, or business, people keep improving upon their skills based on their past performance.
This is a healthy form of comparison that only makes you better and better.
So, instead of focusing on what someone else achieves, focus on how far you have come. Think about what you can do to improve yourself, to be a nicer human being, to be a better parent, to be a better performer, and so on.
Just as you prepare for a race by keeping logs of your laps, keep tabs on the various aspects of your life.
It could be your career, finances, health, relationships, self-care, or anything else. That way, you will be able to create balance and keep improving at the same time.
Even after all of the above ways, if you are still not able to stop yourself from comparing yourself to other people, there is one more thing you can do to turn the tables.
Instead of letting comparisons hurt you or make you feel envious of others, you should allow them to encourage you to do better.
For instance, if a neighbor gets a promotion at work, you should use it as inspiration to work hard yourself.
That way, you might get a promotion too!
In this case, instead of allowing the comparison to bring you down, you are essentially using it to uplift yourself. Who knows, this might be the push you need to take your life to the next level!
You could also study the lives of successful people in the world and understand how they were able to reach where they are today.
You could follow their footsteps and try to emulate their success.
Of course, you should only do it if your heart’s in it. Don’t do it just for the sake of doing it!