Have you ever been in a phase of life where nothing goes your way?
If yes, you know how frustrating that can be.
Slowly, you start blaming yourself for it.
You start thinking that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t do anything right.
You begin underestimating your strengths and making your weaknesses seem like curses.
Plus, as humans, it’s in our nature to compare ourselves with others in every way possible.
When you are in such a phase of life, this comparison can leave you feeling shattered. That’s because other people’s lives will seem perfect to you while yours seems in tatters.
Suffice it to say, it’s not a nice state to be in. It can damage your confidence and self-esteem for a long, long time.
Plus, all the mental trauma you experience is bound to have terrible consequences.
So, if you find yourself feeling like this, you should take steps to put an end to it.
Here is a list of everything you can do in that regard.
1) Ask A Different Question
Sometimes, you get trapped into a cycle of negative thought patterns without even realizing it.
When that happens, your negative thoughts keep getting more and more pronounced.
You get boxed down to such an extent that all you see is darkness.
Obviously, this can be scary.
But there is a way to reverse it.
You can start by asking yourself different questions.
Instead of constantly asking, “Why can’t I get things right?” you can start asking, “Wait… is it really true that I can’t get things right?”
This will allow you to question your illusions and ultimately discover that you are not the problem after all.
It’s just that life is throwing a lot of lemons at you right now.
And you’re not perfect.
So, you are bound to make mistakes or get frightened by the sheer amount of things going on in your life right now.
You can also make yourself feel better by going through all the things you have done well recently (or throughout your life).
Doing so will remind you that you are still the same person with lots of potential and strengths.
You just need to figure a way out of your current rut.
2) Use A Personal Mantra
As I said above, negative thoughts have a habit of spiraling out of control.
So much so that even getting out of bed can become an ordeal.
Obviously, you can’t allow these thoughts anywhere near your mind.
But the question is: how do you do that?
Well, let’s start with the basics.
To counter negativity, you need positivity.
So, you should begin by repeating mantras that anchor you to the present moment and instill belief and confidence in yourself.
Some personal mantras that have worked great for me are,
“I can achieve whatever I set my mind to,”
“I am more than capable of handling life’s challenges,”
“I am ready for whatever life may throw at me,” and
“Challenges don’t stand a chance against me.”
You can repeat these mantras to yourself throughout the day.
You can even meditate while doing so.
Eventually, they will reset your thought patterns and instill more positivity.
3) Take A Bath or Shower
You might wonder how something as non-trivial as a bath or shower can possibly help you.
Well, as wise people have said, do not underestimate the power of simple things in life.
A bath may seem non-trivial, but it can completely change your mood.
I am sure you must have experienced this for yourself!
When you come home from work and take a cold shower, all your tiredness seems to vanish instantly.
You feel as though you have just woken up, ready to take on the day!
Similarly, when your thoughts and emotions are going haywire, you should take a relaxing bath or shower.
Just remember to let go of everything as the water engulfs you.
Let the water take away all your negativity.
If you happen to use a bathtub, you can also use essential oils and scented candles.
That will create a soothing atmosphere where you can just relax and let go of all your troubles.
You will surely feel a difference afterward. ( or at least you will be clean haha )
4) Declutter Your Home And Workplace
You may not realize this, but the space around you has a huge impact on your psychological state.
When you go to a bright and sunny place, you can’t help but feel good.
On the contrary, when you go to a dark and dingy place, you can’t help but feel uncomfortable and creeped out.
Similarly, the way your home and workplace are organized also influences your thoughts and emotions.
If you have a cluttered space, your mind may get cluttered as well.
This can then lead to all sorts of crazy thought patterns.
And the thing is, clutter has a way of accumulating over time without people even realizing it.
So, take a weekend off and declutter everything.
Go through your desk, your wardrobe, kitchen cabinets, and any other place at home. Get rid of anything you don’t need, and organize the rest properly.
You can also donate the stuff you don’t need (this will surely make you feel better).
5) Spend Time Outdoors
When you are in a dark place (mentally speaking), you might want to stay in your room all the time.
You might not even want to leave your bed.
Well, this happens because your mind makes you believe that you are safe in your little cocoon.
And stepping out of it might mean trouble.
Another reason could be that you just don’t want to indulge in fun things while you’re all gloomy on the inside.
This is why this method requires forcing yourself a little.
If you can only take yourself outside for a little while, you will be able to bring forth a change.
When you are outside, all your senses are engaged, and you’re getting so much information from your surroundings. This takes your mind off of anything that had been troubling you.
So, call a friend and schedule a lunch.
Or ask a family member to take you someplace nice.
Perhaps the best thing to do is spend time in nature.
That has the additional effect of instilling peace and calm in your mind.
6) Go Through Your To-Do List
What’s the one thing you ignore the most when you think you can’t do anything right?
It’s your to-do list, of course! You might ask yourself… what’s the point of doing anything on your list if you can’t do them right?
And so, you keep avoiding every task that comes your way… big or small.
Now, the thing about tasks is that they get piled up very easily.
Before you know it, there is a whole mountain of things to do and not enough time to do them.
This makes you feel even worse.
So, save yourself from an escalating situation and start going through your to-do list.
Let me tell you why this is important.
When you cross off an item on your list, you get a small sense of achievement. Try it… you’ll feel the same way.
The more things you complete, the better you feel about yourself.
Even if it is just trivial things.
Ultimately, you can also start dealing with more complex activities. You can break them into smaller parts and complete them that way.
Before you know it, your confidence will be restored.
7) Plan A Trip
Vacations or trips are like therapy for the soul.
When you go on a trip, you leave everything behind and enter into a whole different dimension.
Or at least, that’s how it feels to most people.
Now, again, you might not feel like going on a trip, but you have to force it. For your own good.
If you can’t force yourself, ask your loved ones to force you.
Tell them to plan a trip if possible and go with them. Tell them that it will help you immensely. It doesn’t have to be a long vacation… just a weekend trip to a nearby location can do the trick.
The idea is to change your atmosphere and see the world outside.
This tells your brain that there is more in life than what it can see.
As you spend time with your loved ones, you also get a wider perspective on life.
You realize that maybe there is a way for you to move forward with your life and be happy. It encourages you to step outside of your dark little cocoon and live life the way it is supposed to.
8) Reward Yourself For Positive Achievements
Your brain is like a child.
It LOVES rewards.
In fact, that’s how it functions all the time. It is constantly looking for things to feel good about.
All our striving to achieve things is solely due to this reason: the brain wants to feel good.
Now, knowing this, you can start rewarding yourself for your positive achievements. It could be a tasty pastry or a night out with friends at your favorite resort!
This not only makes you feel better, but in your mind, achievements get linked with rewards.
So, subconsciously, you get programmed to strive to achieve more. And any challenges in your path don’t deter you anymore.
After all, you become motivated to get your reward no matter what.
This singular way of operating can go a long way in helping you achieve your dreams and desires. And it can certainly keep away any negative and limiting beliefs about yourself.
9) Set Achievable Goals
One of the biggest mistakes that we often make is that we set huge goals for ourselves.
Yes, it’s good to go after your dreams.
But you shouldn’t burden yourself with something that may be impossible in the short term.
For example, if you want to be a millionaire, you can’t just expect to do it in one year.
It might take you many years to reach that target. I am not saying that miracles don’t happen. They certainly do. And you might just get lucky and become a millionaire in a single year.
However, it’s not fair to you to carry that immense weight.
What you can do is, set incremental goals.
To be a millionaire, you can first set a target of earning a hundred thousand dollars.
Then, you can move ahead from there.
This will save you from demotivation and self-blame if you can’t achieve a big target in a single go.
10) Do Nothing
Sometimes, all you can do is nothing.
This might seem counterintuitive, but that’s the best thing you can do at times.
This is especially the case when other ways on this list are not working out for you.
It could be that your mind and heart just need more time to process everything that has been going on in your life.
And there’s no shame in that!
So, take some time off work and relax.
Sleep as much as you can and recharge yourself physically and mentally. Do so without any guilt.
I know your brain might tell you that you are “supposed to be busy” all the time, but that’s not true. It’s just societal conditioning to think that way.
Taking some time off may give you a fresh perspective on life.
It might even inspire you to embark upon a journey of self-discovery. These positive steps can bring you out of any limiting beliefs, and you’ll be ready to live life with enthusiasm once again.
11) Get Some Fresh Perspective
When things aren’t going right for you, and you feel like you are the cause of all your troubles, it is only natural to get stuck in an infinite loop.
A loop of self-sabotage, self-blame, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence, and so on.
Your perspective about yourself and your life becomes so limited that you enter a downward spiral.
What you need in this state is a fresh perspective.
And that can come from your loved ones.
When you tell your loved ones how you feel about yourself, they will help you realize just how wrong you are.
They will help you remember all of your life’s achievements, your strengths, and what you have done for them. They will remind you of how much you mean to them.
Sometimes, this is all it takes to open your eyes.
You suddenly realize that you had been going about it all wrong.
And you not only get a fresh perspective but also a renewed sense of motivation to live life.
12) Do A Good Deed
One of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to help other people.
Trust me, this is perhaps the best advice on this list.
Spiritual people say that a human being is at their best in the state of giving.
This “giving” can happen in any form.
So, you could donate to charity, hold the door open for a stranger, donate the stuff in your home that you don’t need anymore, contribute to a community initiative, help make an environmental drive successful, and so on.
There is an infinite number of ways you can make a difference in other people’s lives. And when you do that, you end up feeling a lot better about yourself.
13) Read About The Struggles of Successful People
Last but certainly not least, you can read about the struggles of successful people.
Take any successful person as an example, and you will realize that their lives have been riddled with failures and disappointments.
And yet, they are where they are today because they didn’t ever give up.
Take Steve Jobs, for example. He set up one of the most innovative companies in the world.
But his own board threw him out of his own company.
There was a period when he might have felt that he cannot do anything right.
Yet, he kept pushing forward and ultimately returned to Apple and built it into one of the most valuable companies in the world.
Stories like this can inspire you to keep moving forward no matter what.
So, spend some time reading them every day.
Plus, you might also get a ton of knowledge and wisdom that will help you in other areas of your life!