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Why Do I Attract Jealous Friends? 15 Reasons Explained

    why do I attract jealous friends

    Having jealous friends in life can be daunting.

    You feel like you are being watched and judged all the time.

    You feel like you are constantly being made the subject of their comparisons, which leaves you feeling highly uncomfortable.

    In fact, this begs the question… are jealous friends even really your friends?

    Anyway, if you keep attracting jealous “friends” despite your best tries at avoiding them, you might need to take a good hard look at yourself and how you approach people.

    Only then can you make the necessary corrections so that you attract good-natured and positive people.

    Below, I’ll talk about some potential reasons why you find yourself in such a predicament.

    1) You Have Traits They Want

    person being envious of someone

    So, let’s first talk about the most obvious reason.

    Your friends are jealous of you because you have traits that they want for themselves.

    Maybe you are skilled at something that everyone finds really impressive, maybe you have done your inner work and appear peaceful in an otherwise chaotic world, maybe you are more intelligent, and so on.

    This might make your friends feel like they can’t measure up to you and jealousy is a natural consequence of that.

    In fact, it’s human nature to gravitate toward what one wants.

    So, if more and more people approach you and become your friends, only to later reveal themselves as jealous people, it is clear that your impressive qualities are the reason.

    However, this doesn’t change the fact that your traits are a part of you and should be celebrated. Just because others are jealous of you doesn’t mean you should downplay them.

    jealous friends quote 1

    2) You Are Too Kind

    person being kind to a beggar

    This is another common reason for attracting jealous people.

    You see, when you are kind to other people, you might actually be giving them what they crave.

    It could be attention, comfort, warmth, support, etc. It could be that they are not used to kindness and so, they naturally get attracted to you like a moth to a flame.

    However, people like these are often insecure. And one thing about insecure people is that they quickly get jealous of others.

    Also, your friends might be jealous when you show too much kindness and affection to other people.

    They might expect you to shower all your generosity on them alone.

    And they might not like it when others get too close to you.

    Again, this is most likely a result of insecurities.

    No matter what though, never change your positive qualities because of how others around you act or behave. You need to stay true to who you are.

    Check our article about what to do if you are tired to be nice Here.

    3) You Are More Successful

    successful person wearing a suit

    This is an obvious one and perhaps the most likely reason you keep attracting jealous friends.

    One of the most envious things in the world today is success.

    And success doesn’t only refer to material achievements. If you have wonderful relationships or great health, that is success too!

    Naturally, people are always jealous of those who have what they want. And the same applies to success too.

    In a way, the jealousy of your friends in this case should tell you that you happen to be a successful person… even if you might not think so yourself.

    This should make you appreciate your achievements and journey even more.

    And you can certainly be more mindful about how you share your accomplishments with those around you.

    Maybe this could help tone down the jealousy of some of your friends.

    jealous friends quote 2

    4) You Allow People To Be Insecure Around You

    shy person hiding behind a bed sheet

    You might be someone who is comfortable allowing people to be who they are.

    Your very presence might make others feel safe and so, they might lower their guard around you.

    If this is the case, you inevitably allow people to be insecure when they are with you.

    However, even though this is an admirable quality on your end, this might create unhealthy dynamics in your friendships.

    For one, this nature of yours might attract people who like feeding off of other people’s support.

    Also, your friends might feel like they need to compete with you in order to win your approval. Their insecurities will automatically put them on a lower pedestal and that will instantly create feelings of jealousy.

    This is especially true if you are generally seen as a role model or someone who has figured things out in life. In this case, you are better off setting healthy boundaries and saving your precious time and energy from being taken advantage of.

    5) You May Come Across As A Boastful Person

    person counting her money publicly

    Let’s face it.

    Nobody likes a boastful person.

    When somebody is successful or has achieved things that only a few others have, people naturally feel jealous of them.

    However, things are taken up a notch when such people start boasting about their success and achievements.

    This makes people resentful of them.

    Now, imagine how your friends (or potential friends) might feel when you constantly boast around them. They would naturally not have kind words to say about you.

    So, maybe be more conscious of how you communicate your success to the world and to the people around you.

    Make sure that you don’t come across as arrogant or someone who likes to show off.

    Sometimes, you might come across as such a person even when you genuinely don’t want to.

    A little introspection about your behavior and actions will greatly help you in this regard.

    jealous friends quote 3

    6) You Enjoy Nice Things

    luxurious gallery of shops

    Different people like different things in life.

    And who is to say what’s right and what’s wrong in this regard?

    If you happen to be someone who enjoys the finer things in life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you work hard to sustain your lifestyle and it keeps you happy, well, more power to you!

    However, this might also be the reason why you keep attracting jealous people.

    Nobody likes to admit this, but most people would love to have at least some luxury in their lives. And when they see someone actually living this lifestyle, they can’t help but feel jealous.

    This is only human nature.

    So, if your friends see that you enjoy the nicer things in life, they will naturally be envious of you.

    Again, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing or how you’re living. It’s just that you could be a little more selective of who you show or tell about your life.

    7) You Hang Around With People Who Do Well

    group of people working together

    The company you keep tells a lot about you.

    For example, if you happen to hang around with movie buffs, people will think that you are one too. Similarly, if you hang around with people who do well, people will automatically assume that you are successful too.

    This will cause them to be jealous of you.

    Not only that, but they will also be jealous of the fact that you get to talk to and be around other successful people.

    In other words, you have access to a resourceful network of people.

    Again, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing.

    It’s just that your friends are jealous of what they themselves want.

    Also, they might think that you don’t care about them much because they don’t happen to be that successful.

    If this is the case, you might want to spend more quality time with them. You might assure them that their friendship matters a lot to you.

    jealous friends quote 5

    8) You’re A Good-Looking Person

    pretty woman posing

    Another reason why you might attract jealous friends is that you are a good-looking person.

    Maybe you have a face of a Hollywood actor, maybe you have a great dressing sense, or maybe you have a body of a Greek god.

    Whatever be the case, your friends might secretly want to have the same good looks as you do. And this will obviously make them jealous of you.

    Also, good looks often draw attention from other people.

    This, too, can be a reason for envy and insecurity among your friends. Things like getting a date might come easily to you and that might cause your friends to think that they don’t measure up to you.

    They might start to compare every single aspect of their looks with you and might even try to compete with you in various ways. ( check our article about how to stop comparing yourself to others Here)

    This can create unhealthy dynamics in your relationship with them.

    9) You Have High Self-Esteem

    woman with high self esteem smiling

    Having a high level of self-esteem is definitely one of the best qualities you can have.

    It automatically takes care of a lot of challenges that we usually face in the pursuit of our goals.

    However, this quality can also make people around you ( friends for example) a bit jealous of you.

    For one, if they have a lower level of self-esteem, they might feel threatened by how much you believe in yourself and your abilities.

    In fact, it can make your friends feel bad about themselves.

    If this is the case, you might want to help your friends develop their self-esteem.

    You might talk about the fact that having higher self-esteem doesn’t make you superior to them.

    This will certainly help tone down their jealousy.

    It might also make them more respectful toward you!

    jealous friends quote 6

    10) You Are Highly Confident

    confident person

    Confidence is an extremely attractive quality.

    Check our article comparing self esteem and self confidence Here.

    If you’ve ever been around someone who is highly confident, you already know that they have a charismatic presence.

    It’s almost as if they are exuding some type of energy that just attracts people effortlessly.

    Naturally, if you happen to have a sense of confidence, you will do the same.

    However, in doing so, you will also most likely attract insecure people who lack confidence and struggle with self-worth. They will most probably be jealous of how easily you navigate social situations.

    Your friends might also be jealous because of the attention you receive from other people.

    For example, if you’re hanging out with your friends at a bar, you might get attention from random strangers and that might make your friends envious. It’s not as if you are asking for all the attention… but you get it anyways!

    So, in this case, there is not much you can do except being understanding and empathetic.

    You can also encourage them to build their own confidence by trying out new things.

    11) You Are The Popular One

    group of popular friends

    This is closely related to the previous point, but it is not limited to just confidence.

    Due to many different reasons, you might be the popular one at your home, office, neighborhood, college, or any place else.

    It might be due to your kind nature, certain skills, the nature of your work, etc.

    Now, popularity often attracts people who are jealous of you. I mean, just take a look at celebrities and the massive amounts of jealous people they attract!

    Your friends might secretly want to enjoy the same popularity that you do.

    They might not feel like you “deserve” your popularity.

    They might also feel like they are left out or excluded at times.

    Although it might sound unreasonable at times, you still have to be understanding and empathetic toward them.

    If it’s about exclusion, recognize that and make sure they don’t feel that way. And encourage them to build their own social networks and friendships.

    jealous friends quote 7

    12) You Have A Positive Attitude

    positive person thinking

    The universe works in mysterious ways.

    Sometimes, even as a positive person, you might end up attracting people who struggle with negative thinking and behavior.

    Maybe, subconsciously, they know that they need healing and they are hoping that they can become better by being in your presence.

    They may also be envious of your ability to maneuver the challenges of life in an upbeat manner.

    In fact, some of your friends might even get irritated by your constant positivity.

    They might feel like it’s all a show and that you’re not being real. In their minds, it is simply not possible for a person to be as positive as you.

    And so, they may feel like you’re being fake.

    Well, whatever the case may be, you need to continue being the optimistic person you are.

    Whenever possible, you can encourage your friends to take a brighter view of life.

    In today’s world, this is more important than ever.

    13) You Are Independent

    independent person looking at the landscape

    Like confidence, independence is a highly attractive quality to have.

    It exudes the vibes of self-sustenance and self-sufficiency.

    It shows the world that you hold the ability to take care of yourself.

    In today’s world, where everyone is looking for someone for support, this quality is naturally rare and exotic. So, it shouldn’t surprise you that it attracts lots of jealous friends.

    You see, some of your friends may feel threatened by your independent nature.

    They might feel like you can simply cast them aside because you don’t need them.

    They might also feel like you’re on a much higher pedestal because you don’t need anybody for your well-being.

    This can lead to envy and resentment.

    If you find yourself in this situation, perhaps the best thing you can do is assure your friends that you value them. Let them know that your independent nature will not come in the way of your friendships.

    jealous friends quote 8

    14) You Are A Good Listener

    person listening to someone

    If you happen to be a good listener, you might naturally attract people who feel unheard or unappreciated in their lives.

    And while they will be happy that you’ve given them an ear, they might also envy your ability to connect with other people so easily and your ability to listen.

    Yes, human behavior is very complex sometimes and people do things that seem completely illogical to us!

    Being a good listener also helps you establish strong relationships.

    This, too, can be a reason for your friends’ jealousy.

    They see that you have a strong social circle that consists of people who would do anything for you.

    And this might make them feel resentful. They might wonder why they aren’t able to replicate the same level of success in their relationships.

    Again, this is not your fault at all. It’s just your friends having the wrong perception.

    15) They May Not Have Learned To Have Mature Friendships

    group of young people having fun

    Mature friendships are those where you accept the other person with open arms.

    This includes their strengths as well as weaknesses… good qualities as well as bad qualities.

    In such a friendship, there is compassion, empathy, support, love, and care. Even though some tiny amount of envy might be there, it certainly doesn’t get to a level where you start resenting your very friend.

    So, if your friends are jealous of you, it could simply mean that they have not learned how to have mature friendships.

    Maybe they didn’t truly understand the value of friendships growing up or maybe they never met people who could teach them this value.

    Regardless, you can start now and show them what it means to be a true friend.

    Check our article about what to do when someone like a friend hurts you here.

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