We all know what happiness is.
In fact, all our striving is aimed at achieving happiness.
At the end of the day, we all want to be happy.
But do you know what the problem with most people is?
It’s that they are in pursuit of happiness. They think that they have to do a certain amount of things to be happy.
That’s not how happiness works.
Spiritual gurus have been saying since times immemorial that happiness is not a destination. It’s the prerequisite to do anything in this world.
Buddha himself said, “There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.”
So, what should one do to create a state of happiness and make it a permanent companion no matter what life throws at you?
Well, the first step is to take a look at your habits.
After all, habits can reveal things about you that you may not be aware of yourself!
If you have been feeling unhappy recently or even for a long time now, you should study your habits and make changes accordingly.
Below, we take a look at some of the most common habits of unhappy people.
This should help you understand if you have been doing things unconsciously that keep you in a perpetual state of unhappiness.
- 1) Wanting Perfection
- 2) Hanging Out With Negative People
- 3) Letting Thoughts of Past/Future Overwhelm You
- 4) Giving In To Comparisons
- 5) Getting Mired By Negatives of Life
- 6) Caring About Other People’s Opinions
- 7) Overcomplicating Life
- 8) Doing Things Only For Personal Gain
- 9) They Blame Others
- 10) They Pick Fights With Others
- 11) They Don’t Celebrate Small Wins
- 12) They Quit Too Readily
1) Wanting Perfection
Who wouldn’t like their lives to be perfect?
We all wish we had a lot of wealth, good health, great relationships, a fulfilling career, and so on.
But everyone knows that no matter what, life cannot be perfect.
It’s simply not possible.
And so, wanting perfection in everything and making that a condition for happiness is a sure way to live a miserable life.
Do not get me wrong.
You should try to do the best you can.
But do not think that you can only be happy if things around you are perfect.
Because if you do that, you will keep waiting forever.
So, manage your expectations, do your best, and let go of the rest. Focus on what you already have….
2) Hanging Out With Negative People
The people that you surround yourself with have a huge influence on you.
They can affect the way you think, behave, and act.
I think that’s why people say that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Knowing this, it instantly becomes clear what happens to you if you hang out more with negative people.
Their constant negativity will eat at you and diminish your ability to experience happiness.
And the sad part is that you won’t even know that you are being affected this way.
So, start thinking about who you spend more time with.
Try to hang out with positive people and learn from them. Positive people focus on the good things and try see the positive side of everything…..
If you don’t know a lot of them, go out and actively seek them!
3) Letting Thoughts of Past/Future Overwhelm You
Spiritual gurus often say that being able to remember past events and imagine future possibilities are two of the biggest gifts we have as humans.
But the sad part is that we are not making good use of these gifts.
In fact, these gifts can also make us suffer !
I mean, think about it.
You may constantly be tormented by the traumas of the past and are anxious about any bad things that might happen in the future.
You are stuck in the two places that don’t actually exist!
This is the reason for a lot of people’s unhappiness.
What you need to do is anchor your attention in the present. You should live life moment by moment and handle everything with a subtle sense of detachment. ( easier said than done, I know but at least give it a try…. )
4) Giving In To Comparisons
Wise people always say that comparison is the thief of happiness.
I think this is one of the most eye-opening things that we can realize.
And if you take a look at what’s happening in the world, you will realize that comparison is the biggest reason for people’s unhappiness.
And it’s so nonsensical and tragic at the same time!
When your attention is focused on what others have, you totally forget about all the things that you are blessed with.
You totally forget that there are people out there who would do anything to live the life that you are living right now!
And so, you constantly feel like you are lacking something or the other.
Sadness is a natural consequence.
So, whenever you feel like comparing yourself with others, just quickly go over all the valuable things, people, and situations in life.
5) Getting Mired By Negatives of Life
As stated above, life can never be perfect.
There will always be occasional setbacks and challenges.
There will be things that are outside of your control and people who just don’t want to play nice.
Basically, life is always a balance between the positives and negatives. This is just how it is!
Now, if you tend to focus more on the negatives of life, it is only obvious what that will lead to.
You will perceive life to be harder than it actually is. You will think that there is only pain and suffering in this world.
This will cause you to become a perpetually unhappy person.
There are several things you can do to combat this.
- For one, be more accepting of whatever comes your way.
- Secondly, try to convert a negative thing into a positive one. If you can’t do that, then learn to let go.
- Also, focus more on the positives of life. There is so much to be grateful for and so much good in the world! ( just give a try, you might be surprised….)
6) Caring About Other People’s Opinions
This is another common human tendency that can suck the happiness out of your life.
I know that we are social animals, and we like to listen to what others have to say.
In fact, even if you don’t like it, others will have opinions about literally every aspect of your life!
But you also need to realize that these opinions are only as important as you consider them to be.
And if they hold you back or make you unhappy, there is no reason to give them any thought whatsoever!
Think about it.
If there is something you want to do, and others are advising against it, you may want to give up.
Even though you know that you will eventually succeed, you might end up not pursuing it. This is sad.
It’s your life, and only you should decide what you do and what you don’t. Imagine if Steve Jobs had succumbed to the negative opinions of people! ( me? Addicted to my iphone? nah…)
7) Overcomplicating Life
You know, if you think about it, life doesn’t need to be as complicated as we have all made it out to be.
Our psychological drama makes us think that there are infinite moving parts in our lives that we need to tend to all the time.
However, if you practically examine things, you will realize that life can be very simple.
And there isn’t much you need to do about it.
In fact, you actually need to do less.
For example, you don’t need to constantly deal with your emails as they come. You don’t need to have long to-do lists with items that are not important at all.
You don’t need to split your focus across ten different things.
And you certainly don’t need to keep in touch with everyone in your life every day!
There is so much you can do to simplify your life.
And if you start this journey, you will begin to be happier than ever.
So, as they say, keep it simple, silly!
8) Doing Things Only For Personal Gain
This is another common habit of unhappy people that is actually not talked about much.
The idea is that if you do things only for personal gains, you will eventually start feeling worse instead of feeling better.
To understand this point, you can take a look at extremely wealthy people.
Most wealthy people say that there comes a point where any addition to your riches doesn’t make you happier.
Instead, you feel like you are lacking something huge in your life and that becomes a source of your sadness.
What many don’t realize is that personal gains only add so much to your life.
What truly keeps you fulfilled is a sense of service.
In spirituality, it is said that humans are at their best in a state of offering.
Therefore, if you want to experience true happiness, you should devote some time and resources to help those that need it.
Just knowing that you made a positive impact on someone’s life will keep you feeling better about yourself.
And it will also enhance your perception about how you’re not the only one who faces challenges in life.
9) They Blame Others
I think this is self-explanatory.
If you’re perpetually unhappy, you will tend to blame others for your condition.
You will be inclined to play the victim and blame everyone and everything else except yourself.
You will not realize that you are responsible for your own situation.
You are responsible for your own actions and the way you deal with challenges in life.
Do not fall into this trap of blaming others.
Instead, recognize that you are in control, even if you might not feel like it. Recognize that you can turn things around for yourself if you really want it.
Happiness, after all, is said to be an internal state.
Those who understand this fact don’t let any external factors affect their internal peace and bliss.
10) They Pick Fights With Others
When you’re always feeling unhappy, it is only obvious that you are ruled by negative emotions.
Your sadness can fuel all sorts of negative feelings like rage, jealousy, despair, frustration, guilt, and so on.
These feelings can then dictate the way you behave with other people.
This is why you often see unhappy people picking fights with others.
This can be more destructive than one can imagine.
It can destroy relationships and fill you with even more negative emotions.
If this is what you’re going through, well, you need to make changes asap.
The first thing I would suggest you do is practice meditation. It will instantly help you reach a much better state of mind.
It will also help you examine your life in a non-judgmental life and make the larger changes that are needed to turn things around.
11) They Don’t Celebrate Small Wins
This is pretty much obvious.
If you’re unhappy, you won’t want to celebrate anything.
Your mind won’t allow you to see the good in small victories.
To you, they might seem pointless.
But do you know what?
It’s the small wins that lead you to your end goals or dreams.
It’s the small milestones that help you realize just how far you have come in your journey.
So, get into the habit of celebrating small wins.
I don’t mean you have to throw a party every time you achieve something little.
Even a quiet night where you eat pizza and watch your favorite movie counts.
Doing this will fill your life with moments of pleasure.
And it is in these little moments that we need to find happiness.
12) They Quit Too Readily
Last, but certainly not least, is a habit that directly comes in the way of your success.
We all know that we need to keep striving if we want to be successful.
Even if the going gets tough, we have to keep going forward.
I think everyone knows this.
Even unhappy people.
But what you often see is that unhappy people quit too readily.
They don’t have a sense of resolve about them.
And so, when things get even slightly difficult, they go back to their comfort zone.
Of course, this actually contributes to their sadness.
If you keep giving up on your dreams, you will never achieve them.
And if you don’t achieve your dreams, you will keep feeling sad.
So, no matter what happens in life, do not give up on your dreams and goals.
You’ll get there!