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15 Ways to Help You Accept The Things You Cannot Change

    how to accept the things you cannot change

    As a human being, it is only obvious that you want to be in as much control of your life and situations as possible.

    After all, being in control provides you with a sense of security and comfort. And who doesn’t want to feel that way?

    But, it’s inevitable that in your life, certain things will happen that will be completely beyond your control. And to add to the misery, you won’t be able to do anything to change them.

    Of course, in situations like these, you are bound to feel distressed or bitter.

    It’s a normal human response, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

    However, you shouldn’t be in that frame of mind forever. You need to eventually accept the things you cannot change and move on with your life.

    Otherwise, every day will seem like a chore, and living itself will seem like an arduous job. To that end, let’s take a look at some of the best ways to be more accepting.

    1) Accept That You’ll Never Be Fully In Control

    woman who tries to let go

    Right off the bat, you should live your life with the realization that you’ll never be fully in control.

    The universe has no obligation to work according to your whims. I know this might sound a little harsh, but it’s the cold, hard truth.

    I mean, nobody wants a global pandemic to happen, but it does anyway! And there is nothing that anybody can do to prevent that.

    So, just live with this realization, and things won’t hit you that hard.

    Let go of things you cannot change. Focus on things you can.

    2) Live In The Present Moment

    Living in the present should be a way of life for everybody. It keeps your attention on the things, people, and situations that matter the most.

    So, instead of wasting time on things you cannot change, you will focus more on things you can do something about. That way, you can lead your life onto a more constructive path rather than a destructive one.

    A great way to practice living in the present is to practice mindfulness. It’s a spiritual practice that will help you anchor your attention to the present.

    3) Find The Lesson

    Wise people say that every adversity is meant to teach you a lesson.

    You can either ignore it or learn from it and grow as an individual. I think it would behoove you to apply their wisdom to your life.

    So, when something happens that you cannot change, you need to look for the lesson behind. See how you can use it to better yourself.

    That way, your focus will be on what you can gain instead of what you have lost.

    4) Look At The Positive Aspects

    It is said that every cloud has a silver lining.

    Even the worst of scenarios may provide you with some kind of benefit or opportunity for the future.

    You need to be capable enough to recognize these positives and capitalize on them. So, when you are faced with something you can’t change, don’t waste your energy thinking about how it could have been.

    Instead, think about what opportunity it might present to you. This will completely change your state of mind, and acceptance will become much easier.

    5) Focus On What Makes You Happy

    sparks of firelight

    It’s understandable that when you can’t change something as per your will, you might feel sad, distressed, or bitter.

    This can make acceptance a daunting task. In situations like these, it’s a good idea to divert your mind.

    And the best way to do that is by focusing on things that make you happy.

    So, you could spend more time with loved ones, take up a hobby, travel, listen to music, and do anything else that you enjoy. When you are having fun, you will realize that it’s okay to let go of the things that had been bothering you.

    If you can't change it, change your attitude.

    6) Know That You’re Not Alone

    When you are faced with a situation where things are happening opposite to how you had desired, you might feel shattered. Somehow, you feel like you’re the only one who is going through that type of situation.

    This, however, is not true.

    You see, there are billions of people on the planet. And it’s conceivable that a good chunk of them are going through the same circumstance.

    You need to remind yourself that you are not alone. And when you do that, accepting your predicament will become easier. Somehow, knowing that you are not alone in your troubles has a soothing effect on the mind.

    7) Forgive Yourself

    woman who decides to let go

    It is easy to blame yourself when you can’t change a person or a situation for the better. You might tell yourself things like, “If only I had tried a little harder,” or “If only I was more intelligent or capable.”

    Whether or not it was really your fault, there is nothing you can do about it in the present. It’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.

    So, for the sake of your sanity, it’s best to forgive yourself and move on.

    8) Write Your Feelings In Your Journal

    Since times immemorial, people have turned to writing to calm their minds. From regular folks to great emperors, everyone has used journaling to come to terms with their thoughts and emotions.

    You can do the same to let go of things you can’t control.

    Whenever you feel like you’re dwelling too much on those thoughts, just whip out your journal and start writing. There is something about putting pen to paper that helps you accept things as they are .

    It definitey has a soothing effect on most people 🙂 so why not give it a try?

    Why worry about things you cannot change? let go and move on because life isn't waiting.

    9) Practice Meditation

    Meditation is an ancient spiritual practice that can help you organize your thoughts and emotions. It can also instill peace and calmness within you. As such, you won’t be bothered much about external situations. You will realize that even though external situations are not in your control, the way you react to them certainly is.

    So, you should practice meditation every day, even if it is just for a few minutes to really get the most of it….

    10) Be A Stoic

    Stoicism was all the rage in ancient times.

    Some of the greatest philosophers in the world preached this way of being. But what is it really?

    Well, a stoic is a person who goes through life’s hardships without showing emotions. Such a person also accepts things without complaining. By being a stoic, or at least following the principles of stoicism as much as you can, you will understand that not everything needs to be under your control.

    As such, you won’t be bothered about what you can and can’t change. You will simply take things as they are. Of course, don’t expect instant results… Just learn to take things with a more stoic minset progressively…

    11) Manage Your Expectations

    We all have a ton of expectations from everything and everyone around us.

    Basically, to tell the truth, we like everything to happen the way we desire. In some ways, that is okay since it allows you to pursue your dreams and desires.

    However, a lot of the time, it can make it a lot more difficult to cope with adverse situations. For instance, if something goes against your wishes, you might feel terrible.

    So, it’s a good idea to taper your expectations a bit and be more open to volatility. That way, you won’t be too disappointed and will be able to cope better with the result.

    When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

    12) Remind Yourself It Might Be A Blessing In Disguise

    feet of a man jumping happily

    Has it ever happened to you that a seemingly bad situation turned out to be good in the future?

    You see, we humans function with limited perception. We have no idea how a particular situation might play out in the future.

    So, if something “bad” happens in the present, we obviously don’t want to accept it.

    But, sometimes, a bad situation in the present can lead to something good in the future.

    Or it might prevent something worse from happening. In either case, it works out in your favor. So, you should accept your current situation and focus on how it might turn out to be for the better.

    13) Use Positive Affirmations

    Affirmations are really popular these days.

    People generally use them to instill good habits, beliefs, and thought processes. You can use them to accept anything in life that you can’t change.

    The idea is to come up with short, positive sentences that help you let go.

    For instance, you can use affirmations like, “I am letting go,” “I am not in control, and that’s okay,” “I feel peaceful at this moment,” and so on.

    Try repeating these affirmations every day. it might sound ridiculous but trust me, at some point, that might work its magic….

    14) Do A Letting Go Ritual

    Sometimes, something tangible needs to happen for the mind to come to terms with reality.

    And there is perhaps no better way than to perform a “ritual.”

    Here’s how you do it.

    Take a piece of paper and write down all your thoughts and feelings about something that you can’t change. Mention even the smallest of details. Then, burn the paper and throw the ash away.

    You would be surprised by how effective this symbolic ritual is.

    It often takes a lot of courage to let go of what you can't change.

    15) Ask Yourself, “Will It Matter In Five Years?”

    One of the best ways to let go of a present situation is to see the overall picture of your life.

    It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that most things happening in your life at the present moment won’t even matter in a few years.

    So, when something is haunting you right now, just ask yourself, “Will it matter in five years?” The answer will most definitely be in the negative. As such, acceptance will come naturally.

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